FANDOM


Can You Hear Me Now
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Lou: Okay campers, Cell Phone Sunday is officially powering down.
Emma: No, wait! I need more time. I'm down 5,000 followers since last Sunday. Soon, I'll be at Ravi levels.
Ravi: Hey!
Tiffany: Well, I don't mind turning in my cell. Bye, Mom.
Lou: Does that mean "I love you" in Mandarin?
Tiffany: Sure, let's go with that.
Zuri: So you will deliver to Maine? Great. I want a pastrami on rye and-
Hazel: Sorry, deli's closed.
Zuri: Come on, Hazel. If you have a heart, I'll let you clog it with some of my pastrami.
Emma: I finally got through to my credit card company. My spending has fallen off so much they thought I was dead.
Zuri: Uh What? I collect bees, in my pants.
Theme song.
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Emma: Waterskiing was awesome! Even without the motor boat. I can't believe you can row that fast.
Lou: You build a lot of arm strength when you grow up milking 60 cows before 9:00 a.

m., and one alpaca.

Emma: You don't milk alpacas.
Lou: Yup, learned that the hard way.
Hazel: Lou, do you know what this is?
Lou: Something with more personality than you?
Hazel: No, it's a rock painted like a phone.
Lou: Still applies.
Hazel: Someone did not turn in their cell phone. They have no respect for camp rules, and their brushwork is terrible! Is this emoji winking? Is it sleeping? It's so unclear!
Lou: Why would anyone keep their phone? The whole point of camp is to hang out with your friends, and you can't do that if you're on your cell all day.
Hazel: Come on, Lou. As counselors, it's our job to search this entire camp, inch by inch. I'll start with Xander. Xandy!
Lou: Hazel, heel!
Interior. Wood Chuck cabin.
Zuri: Stupid signal! Ow!
Emma: If you're trying a Feng Shui thing, I kind of hate it. Hey, is that the missing phone?
Zuri: This is not the phone you're looking for. Go about your business. Move along.
Emma: Zuri, that didn't work when you wanted my pudding, it's not going to work now.

And I can't believe you have the missing phone. Give it to me.

Zuri: No. I need to call the deli. The only lox around here are on the doors to the ice cream freezer.
Emma: Zuri, as a CIT, it's my job to uphold the rules.
Zuri: Okay, but before I lost the signal, I saw you were down another 20,000 followers. You're going to wind up like Jeannette Newcomb.
Emma: Who's Jeannette Newcomb?
Zuri: Exactly.
Exterior. The woods.
Ravi: Did you know Maine is covered by 17.7 million acres of forest?
Jorge: Yep, and we just walked through all of them.
Xander: We? I've carried you the last two miles.
Ravi: How much longer are we going to look for this so-called "perfect tree"?
Xander: Until we find it. Guys, Gladys is letting us build the camp a new totem pole! This is a big honor for the Grizzly cabin, and a chance for us to leave our mark on the camp.
Jorge: I need to make my mark behind that tree over there.
Ravi: What are you doing?
Xander: Feeling the tree vibes. Ah! I am one with my barky brother.
Ravi: I have never seen an actual tree hugging in progress. Somehow I feel as though we should all look away.
Jorge: Or they should get a cabin.
Hazel: Okay, Xander, hand over that cell phone!
Xander: Whoa! Hazel, that's not where I keep my phone!
Lou: Xander, I told Hazel you didn't have the missing phone.
Hazel: Just doing my job.
Xander: I know, Hazel, but this is the third time you've frisked me today. In some countries, that makes us engaged.
Hazel: Which countries? I have my passport.
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Emma: I'm really disappointed. I was sure that would get us a signal.
Zuri: You're disappointed? I'm the one who got attacked by that stupid hawk. He burst my balloons, and my dreams of deli in my belly.
Emma: Well, it was all a waste of time. While you were plummeting back to Earth, I heard Lou say Gladys controls the Wi-Fi router and only activates it on Sunday.
Zuri: Great! How are we going to build a router? And if we did, it would have to be like 20 feet high.
Xander: This tree is perfect. It must be like 20 feet high.
Emma: Problem solved. Now we just have to build one of those router thing-a-ma-hooeys.
Zuri: Good luck with that. We had to pay some 6-year-olds to build our dreamcatchers.
Emma: Good point. We're gonna need some 6-year-olds.
Tiffany: Queen's knight to king's bishop three.
Ravi: How cute! You really think I would fall for Kuryakin's gambit?
Tiffany: You just did. Checkmate, son!
Zuri: Forget the 6-year-olds. We just hit the nerd jackpot.
Emma: Ravi and Tiffany? Problem is, those goody-four-shoes would never break a rule.
Zuri: They might, if they don't know they're breaking a rule.
Emma: Ahhh. So we're going to break the rules by having them break the rules, but they won't know they're breaking the rules, so that way we don't get caught breaking the rules.
Zuri: You got it!
Emma: Not really. I have no idea what I just said.
Ravi: I still cannot believe you beat me.
Emma: Guys, good news.
Tiffany: You're telling me. I just beat Ravi at chess Again.
Ravi: The sun was in my eyes.
Tiffany: Zuri, what happened to you?
Emma: Uh She got mugged by a clown.
Zuri: Anyhoo, we heard there's a new arts and crafts project. You get to build a wireless router!
Emma: Yes, that's right. From whatever you can scrounge up from around the camp.
Ravi: Wow, that is quite a leap from the pine cone wind chime we made last week.
Emma: This assignment came straight from Gladys. She thought you guys were the only two smart enough to handle it.
TIffany: Well, she's right about that. It'll be nice to finally have a challenge.
Ravi: I agree.
Zuri: Now, keep this under wraps because you're the only two who get the pleasure of this special electrical engineering assignment.
Emma: And Gladys doesn't want the other campers to get jealous.
Ravi: Got it!
Tiffany: I'm in!
Zuri: Later I'm gonna sell them the Brooklyn Bridge.
Emma: Do we own that?
Interior. Camp Kikiwaka cafeteria.
Xander: Okay, little bros, let's go over my sweet totem pole design.
Jorge: Why do we need a design? Once we're out there, just toss me a chainsaw and watch the wood chips fly!
Xander: If I gave you a Chainsaw, the only things that would be "flying" would be other campers' fingers. And I'm not going to have my totem pole covered in stray body parts. Now, each section is a different animal, which represents a cabin.
Jorge: I'd rather carve an alien, or a dragon. Or Katie from trampoline class.
Xander: Actually, for this totem pole, I want us to capture the camp experience.
Jorge: Katie is the best part of my camp experience.
Interior. Wood Chuck cabin.
Emma: Wow, they are really into this. Neither one of them has spoken in two hours.
Zuri: Just enjoy it.
Tiffany: I finished the specs for the electrical system. You have my permission to be impressed.
Ravi: Wait just a nanosecond, you are proposing a triple band processor? Those are unreliable, which you would know, had you read my latest article in Computer Science Magazine.
Tiffany: I didn't read it because nobody reads magazines anymore, Gramps! Besides, last year I made a super particle accelerator for my science fair.
Ravi: I made one of those, too. In kindergarten.
Zuri: Nerd trash talk is the saddest trash talk.
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Emma: Hey, Lou. Did you find the phone?
Lou: Nope. But I did find this.
Emma: What is that?
Lou: I don't know, but I think I should get some shots. Meanwhile, the only thing Hazel's done is frisk Xander, five times.
Xander: Hazel, that is not a pocket!
Lou: Make that six times.
Zuri: Hey, you know, with Emma's help, you could split up and cover more ground. She can search our cabin, while you search Anywhere else.
Lou: Great plan, Zuri! Uh, I think I'll go get that shot.
Emma: Zuri, are you trying to get us in trouble? If I search our cabin, I'll find the phone, because I know where we hid it.
Zuri: I'd say you got hit in the head by a tetherball, but you were like this when we came.
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Emma: Zuri, I'm really worried about this.
Zuri: Relax. It's perfect. Now you're in on the investigation. Two words. Frame. Jorge.
Emma: I can't do that!
Zuri: Okay, two more words. Frame. Xander.
Emma: No, Zuri. No framing.
Ravi: That is it! I am going to tell Gladys I cannot build her a router!
Emma: No, you can't do that!
Ravi: Well, I cannot work with crazy braids over here. She is impossible!
Tiffany: Oh, don't get your adult diaper in a bunch.
Zuri: Guys, you have to put aside your dorky differences. Gladys is counting on you.
Emma: Besides, you don't want Tiffany to think you're a quitter, do you?
Ravi: I never quit. Remember when we used to play hide and seek? And I would hide for hours and hours, you would never found me.
Zuri: That's because after two minutes, we stopped seeking.
Ravi: Wait, so my record is meaningless?
Tiffany: Go ahead, Ravi, throw in the towel. Typical for someone from your generation. This is how you guys ruined the environment.
Ravi: I am only five years older than you!
Tiffany: You're shouting again. Turn down your hearing aid.
Emma: Guys, guys You've already done so much work. You don't want it to go to waste. That would be like if Einstein stopped when the apple hit him on the head.
Ravi and Tiffany: That was Newton.
Emma: You mean the cookie guy?
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Xander: Whoa, Jorge, you are really focused. Jorge?
Jorge: Ah!
Xander: Were you sleeping with your eyes open?
Jorge: Yup. Little trick I picked up in second grade. Didn't affect me, though. I can still name all 39 states.
Xander: Bro, quit hibernating and keep carving your bear.
Jorge: You try carving with a spork! And why isn't my bear on top?
Xander: Look, Jorge, the totem pole has to go grouse, Bobcat, badger, rabbit, woodchuck, weasel, grizzly. It would make no sense to go grizzly, grouse, Bobcat, badger, rabbit, woodchuck, weasel! Or am I crazy?
Jorge: Kinda.
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Emma: I ditched Hazel and Lou. I told them I saw a ferret with the phone. I figure we have five minutes before they realize that's crazy.
Zuri: Ravi and Tiffany said they need 10 to finish the router. There's got to be some in here, since even the lettuce we eat comes out of a can.
Emma: Okay, I'll boost you up, and just grab all the tin cans you can find.
Zuri: Okay. Oh! Wow, I thought the food smelled bad before they threw it away. I just need to get a little closer
Emma: Okay.
Zuri: Ow! Uh, too close.
Emma: Hey, Lou. Hey, Hazel. How nice to see you coming right toward me, beside this dumpster.
Lou: Well, we found the ferret. No phone, but a lot of fleas.
Hazel: Listen, Ross, you and your sister are the only ones in camp we haven't searched.

I know you have the phone.

Lou: Whoa, whoa. Emma's on our side, and if she says she doesn't have the phone, she doesn't have it. We're such good friends, I'd know if she was lying, because we finish each other's-
Emma: Laundry?
Lou: Close enough.
Hazel: Okay, okay, but that phone has to be somewhere. I better check Xander one more time. Hey, Xander. You can run but you can't hide.
Lou: Sorry Hazel doesn't trust you. She just doesn't know how awesome you are, that you would never, ever lie.
Emma: Thanks, Lou.
Lou: I don't know why I get the extra-large. I can never finish it.
Zuri: The irony is, that smoothie got everywhere but in my mouth. Hey, are you okay?
Emma: Not really. I don't know what's dirtier, your clothes or my conscience.
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Jorge: Bonjour, mon ami!
Xander: Jorge, the French Immersion Camp is across the lake.
Jorge: I am an artiste. And I am going to paint my section of the totem pole bright orange.
Xander: No! This is a totem pole, not a giant traffic cone.
Jorge: You know, everyone says you're the coolest counselor at camp.
Xander: Well, I don't know about that. Gabe from canoe class once met Jay-Z's cousin.
Jorge: But now, you've turned into a big control freak who's no fun. You guys can paint this without me. I'm keeping the 'stache. Word in trampoline class is that Katie likes a guy with facial hair. Ooh-la-la!
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Zuri: So, did you guys hide the router in the top of the totem pole?
Ravi: Yes. And thanks to my brilliant engineering, we hid the wires in the badger tail.
Tiffany: It's sealed up tighter than your brother's mind to new ideas.
Zuri: Good one, Tiffany. Now let's power this baby up. For Gladys.
Ravi: Oh, check it out, Emma. My router is working.
Tiffany: Actually, it's my router. You spent most of the time rubbing wrinkle cream on your face.
Ravi: It was aloe for my dry skin, which affects people of all ages.
Zuri: Look! The phone is working. Nerds are not just for doing homework anymore.
Emma: I don't care. I feel terrible. I never should have lied to Lou.
Lou: Lied about what? Emma? So you had the phone.
Emma: Lou, I can explain Explain what?
Lou: That you lied to me, because your phone is more important to you than our friendship?
Emma: That's not true. Technically, this is not my phone.
Lou: You know, as a CIT, you're supposed to set a good example.
Zuri: You're not going to tell on us, are you?
Lou: Nope, because I would never betray my friend and fellow Woodchucks.
Emma: Lou-
Zuri: Hey, Murray, my man! Overnight me a number seven with extra slaw. Address? I don't know. Head for Maine, and look for a cute girl in the woods jonesing for pastrami.
Interior. Grizzly cabin.
Xander: Jorge, I want to talk to you.
Jorge: Well, I don't want to talk to you. I'd storm out if I weren't so darn comfy.
Xander: Look I want to apologize for being such a totem pole tyrant. I forgot this was your project, too. I'm really sorry, bro.
Jorge: That's okay. I know how much this means to you. I saw how hard you hugged that tree.
Xander: Yeah, I'm still pulling bark out of my belly button. Look, how about you paint your section so bright they can see it from space? Huh?
Jorge: Merci, Xandee.
Xander: De nada, Jorge. Now, come on.
Jorge: Hang on. Since you apologized, it seems rude to leave that snake in your bed.
Xander: Whoa! Well, it could be worse. Could be Hazel under there.
Interior. Camp Kikiwaka cafeteria.
Emma: Hey, Lou. I got you a slice of apple pie. They were running out and I know how much you love it.
Lou: How do I know that's really apple pie?
Emma: Because it's got these little pieces of apple surrounded by pie crust?
Lou: So you say. You've been lying to me so much lately, I don't know what to think. I even believed a ferret could steal a phone. That's how much I trusted you.
Emma: Lou, I feel terrible. Please tell me what I can do to make it up to you.
Lou: Nothing.
Emma: Lou, please. I knew you'd give me another chance.
Lou: No. I just want the pie.
Xander: Welcome, everyone, to Camp Kikiwaka's totem pole unveiling. I want to thank all the campers who helped make this possible, especially Jorge, who taught me everyone's vision has value. And if you value your vision, don't stare at his section too long.
Zuri: Hello, Murray? I'm still waiting.

What do you mean your delivery guy got lost? I've got a kugel craving!

Lou: Emma, what in the Waka are you doing?
Emma: I'm trying to show you that your friendship is more important than a stupid cell phone! Now get out of the way, I don't want to run you over!
Xander: No! Our totem pole!
Tiffany: Wow, Gladys is going to be really upset that Emma ran over her router.
Ravi; She might also be a tad miffed that Emma broke the flagpole and almost burned down the camp.
Zuri: Guys, wise up! This router was never for Gladys. Emma and I just tricked you so we could get phone service. Emma has a very serious lying problem.
Xander; Our totem pole is now a totem stub.
Jorge; Don't be sad, buddy. At least the good part is still here.
Emma: Sorry, guys, but I needed to do something huge to show Lou how important she is to me.
Xander: You could have just given the phone back.
Ravi: Or pulled the plug on the tower.
Emma: Hindsight is 20/20, people. Lou, I am really sorry. I was so worried about my stupid online followers, that I lost my real best friend. Please forgive me.
Lou: Of course. And hey, I get it. I've got 150,000 followers myself.
Emma: You do?
Lou: Yep. On Farmpage. There are a ton of tech savvy pigs out there.
Interior. Camp Kikiwaka cafeteria.
Zuri: I can't believe that stupid deli guy never showed up.
Emma: Yeah, surprising, considering that exact address you gave him. "Cute girl in the woods."
Zuri: Hey! My deli platter!
Ravi: This pastrami is delectable.
Tiffany: So is the corned beef.
Jorge: This white stuff is really good, too. It's kinda lemony.
Xander: Those are the moist towelettes.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.