Luke Out Below/Transcript

Luke Out Below
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Ravi:	Now remember, campers, both occupants of the vessel must row as one.
Emma:	Or you won't end up going anywhere.
Zuri:	I'm no expert, but I think the reason we're not going anywhere is because we're not in the water. Our only chance of drowning is if that sprinkler head goes off.
Griff:	Yeah, where's the danger? If we capsize here, the worst thing that can happen would be grass stains.
Emma:	Grass stains on the wrong garment can be tragic.
Ravi:	Now, please pay attention. After all, it is safety week.
Emma:	Right. Do you think I'd be wearing this life preserver if I didn't have to? No one looks good in orange.
Ravi:	Except you.
Emma:	Aw, thanks. I was fishing.
Ravi:	It is Emma's and my responsibility to make sure you all get back home in ship shape. Get it? I used a boat reference While in a boat.
Zuri:	Please stop.
Ravi:	Now, imagine you are out on the lake, and a storm suddenly strikes. Whoosh! Blam! Emma, a little help?
Emma:	Fine. Whoosh! (Wind whooshing) Wow, I'm really good at this!
Luke:	Hey, guys!
All:	Hey, Luke.
Luke:	You know the lake is over there, right?
Theme song.
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Emma:	It's so good to see you, Luke.
Luke:	It's great seeing you guys, too. I got a week off from summer school, so Mom and Dad said I could come to Camp Kikiwaka.
Zuri:	It was nice of them to let you take the helicopter.
Luke:	Yeah "Let me."
Ravi:	Luke, I would like you to meet one of my campers, Griff.
Griff:	Hey, man, that was so cool, dropping in on that ladder.
Luke:	Thanks. I once tried doing that from our private jet. I'm still picking bugs and part of a bird out of my teeth.
Zuri:	He was coughing up feathers for a week.
Luke:	Yeah. So, what's up first? Zip-lining, bungee jumping, water skiing?
Ravi:	Actually, next up on our agenda, we are going to review the safe way to open a safety manual. See, no paper cuts.
Emma:	Look, Lou put us in charge of safety week, and I don't wanna disappoint her. She always gives me those sad cow eyes. She keeps them in a jar.
Luke:	Whoa! That's weird. She should keep them in a bag. And, Emma, you're starting to sound just like Ravi, except your voice is deeper.
Ravi:	How dare you (In deep voice) How dare you?
Interior. Grizzly cabin.
Xander:	I'm really psyched you and I get to put together the camp yearbook.
Lou:	(Chuckles) Yeah. Ooh, look. Remember the guys versus girls tetherball game? That was so fun.
Xander:	Not for everyone. Remember how much you hated losing?
Lou:	Hey, he shouldn't have called a double-touchie on me.
Xander:	Well, he learned that lesson.
Lou:	This is gonna be so much better than when Hazel did it last year, the whole thing was just pictures of her.
Xander:	Thirty different pairs of suspenders, same creepy smile.
Lou:	But this year, she won't be buttin' in. I told her we were meeting at The Spot.
Xander:	Why The Spot? Because Camp Champion had their paintball tournament there today.
Hazel:	Very funny, Lou. Fun fact. A paintball can fit up your nose. (Exhales through nose) You're out! Ha-ha.
Interior. Mess hall.
Luke:	So, let's have some fun! I need to work off this- Oatmeal?
Griff:	Who knows? I'm just hoping those are raisins.
Zuri:	Fun would be a nice change. To avoid injuries, Ravi and Emma made us play dodgeball with bubbles, while wearing goggles.
Griff and Zuri:	(mocking) Because soap stings your eyes.
Luke:	Don't worry, Luke's here. And we're gonna have some goggle-free fun. Hey, watch this, everybody. My mom calls this one "You're grounded."
Ravi:	Who is ready for another game of dodge-bubble?
Emma:	Luke, what are you doing? The food here is dangerous enough without you climbing the furniture.
Ravi:	Get down!
Luke:	You got it.
Emma:	(Gasps) Luke, please set a good example for the campers, and try not to be so you.
Ravi:	Yes. That was extremely dangerous! What were you thinking?
Luke:	I wasn't. That's what made it fun.
Griff:	Zuri, your brother is so cool!
Zuri:	Yeah, I'm one for two.
Interior. Grizzly cabin.
Hazel:	Look, here's a great picture for the yearbook.
Xander:	Hazel, we never took a hot air balloon ride together.
Hazel:	Just because you were unconscious, doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Lou:	Hey, look! The yearbook from our first summer at Camp Kikiwaka when we were eight!
Xander:	Aw. And here's a picture of our very first campfire.
Young Lou:	Whoa! Rookie mistake with that s'more, Xander. You left the 'mallow in too long. There's a fine line between gooey goodness, and a mouthful of lava. Here, try this.
Young Xander:	Thanks, Lou. Wow, finally something at this camp that tastes like food. Hazel, you have marshmallow goo right there.
Young Hazel:	One day, he'll be mine.
Lou:	You couldn't even finish a s'more before you started creeping on Xander.
Hazel:	Hey, he made the first move.
Xander:	No, I didn't! I was eight. I didn't have any moves!
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Emma:	Hey, Ravi, what's more fun than climbing a rock wall?
Ravi:	I know, Emma. Climbing said wall
Emma and Ravi:	Safely.
Luke:	I can't believe we're about to climb a plastic wall, when there's a real mountain right over there. My typing class is more dangerous than this.
Ravi:	Wrist cramps are nothing to sneeze at.
Luke:	Hey, you might want to get the nurse.
Emma:	Why? Is someone hurt?
Luke:	Not yet. But (mimics labored breathing) We're all about to die of boredom. (Grunting) So boring (Laughter)
Emma:	Quick, let's bury him.
Luke:	Please, continue to bore.
Ravi:	See, I can enjoy the thrill of ascent, while secure in the knowledge that no harm will come to me.
Emma:	Ding, ding, ding. That's right, Ravi. See, kids? It's fun being supes safe!
Luke:	Hey, guys, you wanna have some real fun, and climb that mountain? As long as it doesn't involve bubbles or goggles, I'm in.
Zuri:	It beats staying here watching Ravi trying to use his muscle.
Ravi:	(Shrieks) (Gasps) (Laughing)
Emma:	Wow, Ravi, you are light as a feather. Wait a minute, Luke's gone and so are Zuri and Griff.
Ravi:	I see them! They are heading out of camp.
Emma:	Oh, they must've gone off to the mountain, like he said! We've got to stop them!
Ravi:	(Grunts)
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Lou:	Xander, we need pictures of the camp for the yearbook. Stop taking pictures of the sky.
Xander:	But that cloud looks like a butt.
Lou:	People do love butt clouds.
Xander:	So how'd you get rid of Hazel this time?
Lou:	I told her you went out into the forest to chop some wood, shirtless. She'll be looking for you all day.
Xander:	Why would I be chopping wood shirtless?
Lou:	I don't know. You're the one doing it. Aw, look. A picture of you under your Crying Tree.
Xander:	I did not have a crying tree.
Lou:	Come on, it's okay to admit you were a little homesick.
Xander:	Okay, so maybe I was a little homesick, but I remember you weren't that thrilled either with camp at first.
Lou:	Only because Hazel was the world's worst bunk mate. She kept using my toothbrush- to clean the toilet.
Young Lou:	Ugh! That Hazel's got me madder than a bull that sat on a bee's nest. Ugh!
Young Xander:	Hey, don't kick my tree.
Young Lou:	Sorry. It's just that dang Hazel is a poopy head!
Young Xander:	Language!
Young Lou:	Sorry. Hey, are you crying?
Young Xander:	No, I just have something in my eye.
Young Lou:	Is it sadness?
Young Xander:	(Sniffles) Maybe.
Young Lou:	Would you like some company?
Young Xander:	Sure.
Young Lou:	Ugh! I think something took a tinkle right here.
Young Xander:	That's my crying puddle. I have enormous tear ducts.
Xander:	That was the moment I realized that I had finally found a friend at camp.
Lou:	Me, too. Despite your tear duct issue.
Xander:	But nothing meant more to me than when you left that toy guitar under my Crying Tree the next day.
Lou:	Uh I didn't leave a toy guitar under your tree.
Xander:	You didn't?
Lou:	No, but I did leave you some eye drops. You were crying so much, people thought you had pinkeye.
Exterior. The mountains.
Luke:	This is going to be way better than climbing a boring wall covered in Ravi's sweat.
Zuri:	Oh, yeah. Although I did like watching Ravi swinging from that rope like a nerdy pinata.
Luke:	(Chuckles) Except, if you whacked Ravi, the only thing that would fall out is calculators.
Griff:	And safety manuals.
Luke:	Okay, follow me.
Zuri:	Uh, Luke, the sign says that way is dangerous.
Luke:	You see "danger," I see "fun!" Two years of summer school and you still can't read.
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka
Xander:	Wait a minute. I just remembered. I thanked you for the toy guitar.
Lou:	You did?
Young Xander:	Hey, Lou, thank you very much for- you know, what you gave me.
Young Lou:	Oh! You're welcome. It was no big deal.
Young Xander:	It was to me.
Lou:	I remember that. Why didn't you mention the guitar, or your Crying Tree?
Xander:	Eh, there were too many people around. I was embarrassed. But why did you say "You're welcome" if you didn't give me the toy guitar?
Lou:	I just thought you were thanking me for sharing my potato tots.
Xander:	Why would I thank you for that? That's no big deal!
Lou:	Which is why I said it was "No big deal!"
Xander:	Oh.
Lou:	Holy haystack, I just remembered something that happened right after you left.
Young Xander:	See you later, Lou.
Young Lou:	Bye!
Young Hazel:	Hey, what were you and Dreamy McHandsome talking about?
Young Lou:	Oh, he was just thanking me for giving him some of my potato tots.
Young Hazel:	Oh, I gave him something, too. I guess he didn't like it. By the way, I've been using your pillow case for my dirty laundry. Ha-ha!
Young Lou:	Well, that explains my athlete's ear.
Lou:	So Hazel gave you the guitar?
Xander:	Wow! I can't believe she did something so nice, and that you didn't give me anything!
Lou:	I would like to point out that I gave you the gift of crunchy potato nuggets!
Exterior. The mountains.
Emma:	They must be around here somewhere. Uh-oh. Look at that.
Ravi:	Oh, no. Even Luke would not take them on that trail.
Emma:	I know, that would be stupid.
Ravi:	Idiotic.
Emma:	Stupid.
Ravi:	Ludicrous.
Emma:	Stupid.
Ravi:	They went that way.
Emma:	Yup.
Ravi:	Oh! And when we get back, we shall work on expanding your vocabulary.
Emma:	Don't be stupid.
Exterior. The mountains.
Luke:	(Chuckling) Zuri, check it out! It's looks just like the view from our penthouse. Except, without all the buildings, people and trash.
Zuri:	(shuddering) (Exclaims) Can we please go back down now?
Griff:	Hey, I can see camp! Yikes, Gladys is sunbathing. Don't look at the dock!
Zuri:	(Straining)
Griff:	Zuri, are you okay?
Zuri:	Well, my muscles are burning, there's dirt falling into my face, and I'm pretty sure a millipede just crawled into my shirt.
Griff:	So you're good.
Luke:	This is awesome! Hey, I can see your camp. Whoa! Who's the hairy dude sunbathing on the dock?
Zuri:	(Gasps) I'm slipping!
Griff:	(Screaming) Zuri! (Screaming)
Luke:	(Gasps) Zuri! Griff! Are you okay?
Zuri:	I'm going with no!
Exterior. The mountains.
Zuri:	Help! Luke!
Luke:	Okay, I'm coming down to get you! Don't move!
Zuri:	Where would we go? I mean, besides the afterlife!
LUke:	Almost there! Oh, no! (Screaming) Zuri! (Gasping) I told you guys this was gonna be fun.
Griff:	What do we do now?
Zuri:	I say we scream for help.
Griff:	I like it!
Luke:	Help!
Zuri:	Save us!
Griff:	We're up here!
Luke:	(Grunts) Maybe we shouldn't scream so loud.
Luke:	Help.
Zuri:	Save us.
Griff:	We're up here.
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Xander:	Hey, Hazel, you got a minute?
Hazel:	Oh, my gosh! You're proposing! Yes, yes, 1,000 times, yes!
Xander:	Sorry, I'm not proposing. But I am here to thank you.
Hazel:	Thank me? For what? Is this a trick?
Xander:	No! No, I wanted to talk to you about this. I realize now that you were the one who left this guitar for me. And if it's not too late, I just wanted to say thank you.
Hazel:	Oh, you're welcome. I can't believe you still have that.
Xander:	Of course. If it weren't for your kindness back then, I might have left camp. Instead, I stayed, and found my love for music. And I owe all that to you.
Hazel:	But why didn't you thank me then? That really hurt my feelings.
Xander:	I didn't know it was from you!
Hazel:	I left you a note.
Xander:	You did? I never saw it.
Young Xander:	(Sniffling)
Hazel:	Oh, my gosh, I bet I know what happened.
Xander:	I always thought that was the receipt!
Hazel:	(Sighs) I should've taped it on.
Xander:	"Dear Xandy, I hope this makes you happy." Love, Hazel." I am so sorry I misjudged you all these years. Can we start over and be friends?
Hazel:	I would like that.
Xander:	(Chuckles awkwardly) Hazel, moment's over.
Hazel:	You owe me this, Dreamy McHandsome!
Exterior. The mountains.
Ravi:	I cannot believe they are not up here.
Emma:	We couldn't have passed them on the trail.
Zuri	Save us!
Luke:	Help!
Emma:	Wait, do you hear someone whispering for help?
Luke:	Help.
Ravi:	Yes! Luke! Griff! Zuri!
Luke:	Hey! We're down here!
Ravi:	(Gasps) What in the world are you doing down there?
Zuri:	Country line dancing. What's it look like we're doing? We're hanging on for dear life!
Luke:	So let's stop with the Q&A, and start with the helping!
Griff:	And hurry up! I have to go to the bathroom, and there's not a lot of privacy on this ledge!
Emma:	Don't worry, we'll get you up! Did you bring the rope?
Ravi:	Water. Water. Water. Water.
Emma:	Please tell me you brought more than just drinks.
Ravi:	Never dismiss the importance of proper hydration. Rope!
Emma:	Okay, listen! We'll throw the rope down. Tie it around your waist, like the safety harness we showed you, and then we'll help you climb up! I'll help you climb up.
Ravi:	Oh!
Emma:	Catch the rope!
Luke:	(Gasps) I think she missed a step.
Emma:	Please tell me you brought-
Ravi:	Yes, I brought a back-up rope. Okay. Obvi. Okay, I will tie one end to the tree.
Luke:	Okay, Zuri, you first.
Zuri:	That's the smartest thing you've said all day!
Ravi:	Oh, you made it!
Zuri:	Thanks, Ravi. I guess I have two cool brothers after all.
Emma:	You're safe! Scare me like that again, and I'll wring your neck. I love you so much!
Zuri:	Kinda getting mixed messages here.
Luke:	Hello? Can we save everyone's life before we celebrate?
Griff:	Okay, Luke, you're next.
Luke:	Whoa! (Gasping) My life just flashed before my eyes! Ravi, I owe you an apology.
Ravi:	You also owe me $40, so please grab the rope and climb to safety!
Emma:	Pull! Pull! Almost there.
Ravi:	(Straining) Luke! (All exclaiming) I have got you, brother! (Grunts) Someone get me! (Breathing heavily)
Emma:	Luke, are you okay?
Luke:	Yeah. Thanks to you guys.
Griff:	Good thing you brought that rope.
Ravi:	Rule one of safety, always be prepared.
Zuri:	Rule number two, never go anywhere with Luke.
Luke:	Okay, I realize now, I probably should've been better prepared before I led us down the chained-off trail that said "Danger."
Emma:	Or you could just not go down the dangerous trail at all.
Luke:	(Scoffs) Why don't I just lock myself in a library and call myself Ravi?
Ravi:	I am so glad I got rope burns saving your life.
Luke:	Thank you, Ravi. And, Zuri, Griff, sorry about the whole "nearly getting you killed" thing.
Griff:	I can't believe we almost fell off a mountain. Which was so cool! Yeah!
Ravi:	Speaking of cool, who wants to hydrate?
Luke:	Me.
Zuri:	Please.
Griff:	Oh, yeah.
Ravi:	Told you. I also got lotion for chafing. No? Just me, then.
Exterior. Camp Kikiwaka.
Emma:	We'll really miss you, Luke.
Ravi:	Try not to kill anyone at summer school.
Luke:	I start chemistry on Monday, so no promises. (Helicopter blades whirring) Oh! Here's my helicopter.
Zuri:	Have you ever thought of taking a bus?
Luke:	You know I get carsick. Well, thanks for everything, guys.
Ravi:	Oh! Wait, Luke, you should put on a helmet.
Luke:	Oh, okay. Bye! Wait, no!
Ravi:	Wait!
Luke:	Ravi, let go! There's only enough food for one on this flight.
Ravi:	I would love to, but I am entangled! The blood is rushing to my (Water splashes)
Zuri:	Huh, Ravi landed in the lake. That was lucky.
Emma:	(Ravi screaming) And the toxic waste woke him right up. Wanna go get a snack?
Zuri:	I could eat.
Hazel:	Hazel, I told you, the moment's over!